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Manage children, focus on church independence and autonomy

Manage children, focus on church independence and autonomy

  • Categories:Education method
  • Author:
  • Origin:
  • Time of issue:2019-06-13 02:06
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(Summary description)Manyparentshavesuchconfusion:theyhavealsoworkedhard,spenttimeandenergyonthechildren,butthechildrenarealwayslazy,sotheparentsarecaughtinthecircleof"moremanagement,morelazychildren."Howtoproperly"managechildren"?Listentotheeducationexpert,QianZhiliang,anassociateprofessoratBeijingNormalUniversity.1,thechild,cannotbeexcessiveThisisoftenthecaseinreallife:Inthemorning,Iwaslateforschool.Theparentswereanxiousliketheantsonthehotpot.Thechildrenstillgotupslowlyandgotupandwashed.Whentheydidtheirhomeworkat10o'clockintheevening,theparentsrushedtoremindthechildrentofinishsleepingandworryaboutlackofsleep.Thechildisstilldoinghisownthingandcandragitforawhile.Thebadhabitsofchildren'slazinessandprocrastinationoftencomefromexcessiveparentalmanagement.Someparents,excessiveinterventioninchildren,isclearlythechild'sownbusiness,buttheparentsaremoreanxiousthanthechild,hasbeenurgingandcontrollingthechild'srhythm.Toomuchinterferencewiththechildwillmakehimgraduallybecomedependent.Hethinksthatifhedoesnotdowellordoesnotfinishit,hisfatherandmotherwillhelphimtocompleteit.Overtime,hewillformalazycharacter.Otherparents,overprotectingtheirchildren,whentheywanttotrytodosomethingthemselves,alwaysstopthechildwith"youarestillsmall,thiskindofthingcan'tbedone",andeventhinkthatheisnotdoingwelloracting.Tooslow,simplyreplacethechildtofinishthings.Excessiveprotectionhasspurredthechild'senthusiasmfordoingthings.Thechildlackstheopportunitytoexperiencesuccess,andslowlyfeelsthatheisuseless,bad,andlosesself-confidence.Thedependenceonparents,thefearofencounteringdifficulties,thelackofself-motivation,graduallyevolvedintoalazycharacter.Ontheroadtogrowth,thegradualindependenceofchildrenisanirreplaceableprocess,andparentscannotbereplaced.2,thechild,totalkaboutmethodsManyparentsmayrefute,"Whetherthechildcan'tdoit,therearemanythingsyoudon'tdowithoutsayingthathecan'tdoit.Youcan'tjustlethimdowhateverhewants."Thereisaterminpsychologycalled"overruneffect",whichmeansthatdoingsomethingexceedsacertainlimit,buttheresultwillbecounterproductive.Inthematterofmanagingchildren,parentsarenotasgoodatintervening,arrogant,andurging.Itisbettertomakerulesandsetrulesforchildren.Manyparents“manage”childrenintotwoextremes:notauthoritariancontrol,orloveindulgence.Infact,thecorrect"managementofchildren"shouldbewithinthescopeoftherules,givingchildrenfullfreedomtoletthemplaytheirgrowthpotential.Rules,donotdenythechild'sideas,protectthechild'sopinion,butalsodonotallowthechildtobedisorderly;itallowsthechildtoenjoyfreedom,butalsotorestrainsomeofthechild'sbehavior.Whenachildisborn,itisablankpieceofpaper.Whenparentsgivehimrulesfromayoungage,hewillunderstandwhichactionsarecorrect,appropriate,andwhicharenot.Childrencanunderstandtherulesinordertolearntoreflect,whethertheirbehaviorisappropriate,andgraduallylearntoberesponsibleforthemselves,andtheinitiativewillbeimproved.3,controlthechildren,focusontheindependenceofthechurchManyparentshavemadeawrongdemonstration,dedicatedalltheirtimetothechildren,andeverythingisaroundthechild.Callinghimtogetup,helphimorganizehisschoolbags,accompanyhimafterschool,andtutorhishomework.Afterbusywiththechildren,theresultwillencouragethechild'sinertia.Sometimes,parentsarelazy,andchildrenaremorediligentandmoreactive.Whatthechildcando,parentsshouldnottakebigrisksandgivehimtheopportunitytomanagethemselves.Thechild'sroomischaotic,remindingthechildtocleanup;thechild'ssmallclothesencouragehimtowashhimself;somethings,letthechildrencarrythemselves,suchasbeinglateforbedinthemorning,theymustbeartheriskofbeingcriticizedbytheteacher.Lovehasneverbeenabigbag,letthechildrendosomethingtheycan,hecanlearntobeindependentingrowingup,andhewillnotdependonothers.Thechildislazy,anotherpositiveandeffectivewayistogiveresponsibility.Onceapersonisgivenresponsibility,heimmediatelybeginstonoticetheinfluenceofhisactionsonothersandbeginstoproduceself-discipline.Thesameistrueforchildren.Inlife,parentscanoccasionallyshowweakness,askforhelpfromthechild,orcreateopportunitiestogivethechildacertainresponsibility.Forexample,askingachildtohelptakecareofapottedplantandletthechildhelptocleanupthetablewarewillgivethechildmoreconfidenceinhimselfandmorecertainself-worth,andwillnaturallyworkharder.Therefore,parentsshouldbelieveinthechild'sability,respectthechild,givehimacertaintimeandspacetotryandexplore,andthechild'sinitiativeandenthusiasmwillbeignitedunconsciously.Managingchildrenrequiresthewisdomofparents.Notauthoritarian,notarrogant,appropriatelazy,givingchildrenresponsibility,itiseasiertoteachindependent,activeanddiligentchildren.

Manage children, focus on church independence and autonomy

(Summary description)Manyparentshavesuchconfusion:theyhavealsoworkedhard,spenttimeandenergyonthechildren,butthechildrenarealwayslazy,sotheparentsarecaughtinthecircleof"moremanagement,morelazychildren."Howtoproperly"managechildren"?Listentotheeducationexpert,QianZhiliang,anassociateprofessoratBeijingNormalUniversity.1,thechild,cannotbeexcessiveThisisoftenthecaseinreallife:Inthemorning,Iwaslateforschool.Theparentswereanxiousliketheantsonthehotpot.Thechildrenstillgotupslowlyandgotupandwashed.Whentheydidtheirhomeworkat10o'clockintheevening,theparentsrushedtoremindthechildrentofinishsleepingandworryaboutlackofsleep.Thechildisstilldoinghisownthingandcandragitforawhile.Thebadhabitsofchildren'slazinessandprocrastinationoftencomefromexcessiveparentalmanagement.Someparents,excessiveinterventioninchildren,isclearlythechild'sownbusiness,buttheparentsaremoreanxiousthanthechild,hasbeenurgingandcontrollingthechild'srhythm.Toomuchinterferencewiththechildwillmakehimgraduallybecomedependent.Hethinksthatifhedoesnotdowellordoesnotfinishit,hisfatherandmotherwillhelphimtocompleteit.Overtime,hewillformalazycharacter.Otherparents,overprotectingtheirchildren,whentheywanttotrytodosomethingthemselves,alwaysstopthechildwith"youarestillsmall,thiskindofthingcan'tbedone",andeventhinkthatheisnotdoingwelloracting.Tooslow,simplyreplacethechildtofinishthings.Excessiveprotectionhasspurredthechild'senthusiasmfordoingthings.Thechildlackstheopportunitytoexperiencesuccess,andslowlyfeelsthatheisuseless,bad,andlosesself-confidence.Thedependenceonparents,thefearofencounteringdifficulties,thelackofself-motivation,graduallyevolvedintoalazycharacter.Ontheroadtogrowth,thegradualindependenceofchildrenisanirreplaceableprocess,andparentscannotbereplaced.2,thechild,totalkaboutmethodsManyparentsmayrefute,"Whetherthechildcan'tdoit,therearemanythingsyoudon'tdowithoutsayingthathecan'tdoit.Youcan'tjustlethimdowhateverhewants."Thereisaterminpsychologycalled"overruneffect",whichmeansthatdoingsomethingexceedsacertainlimit,buttheresultwillbecounterproductive.Inthematterofmanagingchildren,parentsarenotasgoodatintervening,arrogant,andurging.Itisbettertomakerulesandsetrulesforchildren.Manyparents“manage”childrenintotwoextremes:notauthoritariancontrol,orloveindulgence.Infact,thecorrect"managementofchildren"shouldbewithinthescopeoftherules,givingchildrenfullfreedomtoletthemplaytheirgrowthpotential.Rules,donotdenythechild'sideas,protectthechild'sopinion,butalsodonotallowthechildtobedisorderly;itallowsthechildtoenjoyfreedom,butalsotorestrainsomeofthechild'sbehavior.Whenachildisborn,itisablankpieceofpaper.Whenparentsgivehimrulesfromayoungage,hewillunderstandwhichactionsarecorrect,appropriate,andwhicharenot.Childrencanunderstandtherulesinordertolearntoreflect,whethertheirbehaviorisappropriate,andgraduallylearntoberesponsibleforthemselves,andtheinitiativewillbeimproved.3,controlthechildren,focusontheindependenceofthechurchManyparentshavemadeawrongdemonstration,dedicatedalltheirtimetothechildren,andeverythingisaroundthechild.Callinghimtogetup,helphimorganizehisschoolbags,accompanyhimafterschool,andtutorhishomework.Afterbusywiththechildren,theresultwillencouragethechild'sinertia.Sometimes,parentsarelazy,andchildrenaremorediligentandmoreactive.Whatthechildcando,parentsshouldnottakebigrisksandgivehimtheopportunitytomanagethemselves.Thechild'sroomischaotic,remindingthechildtocleanup;thechild'ssmallclothesencouragehimtowashhimself;somethings,letthechildrencarrythemselves,suchasbeinglateforbedinthemorning,theymustbeartheriskofbeingcriticizedbytheteacher.Lovehasneverbeenabigbag,letthechildrendosomethingtheycan,hecanlearntobeindependentingrowingup,andhewillnotdependonothers.Thechildislazy,anotherpositiveandeffectivewayistogiveresponsibility.Onceapersonisgivenresponsibility,heimmediatelybeginstonoticetheinfluenceofhisactionsonothersandbeginstoproduceself-discipline.Thesameistrueforchildren.Inlife,parentscanoccasionallyshowweakness,askforhelpfromthechild,orcreateopportunitiestogivethechildacertainresponsibility.Forexample,askingachildtohelptakecareofapottedplantandletthechildhelptocleanupthetablewarewillgivethechildmoreconfidenceinhimselfandmorecertainself-worth,andwillnaturallyworkharder.Therefore,parentsshouldbelieveinthechild'sability,respectthechild,givehimacertaintimeandspacetotryandexplore,andthechild'sinitiativeandenthusiasmwillbeignitedunconsciously.Managingchildrenrequiresthewisdomofparents.Notauthoritarian,notarrogant,appropriatelazy,givingchildrenresponsibility,itiseasiertoteachindependent,activeanddiligentchildren.

  • Categories:Education method
  • Author:
  • Origin:
  • Time of issue:2019-06-13 02:06
  • Views:
Information
Many parents have such confusion: they have also worked hard, spent time and energy on the children, but the children are always lazy, so the parents are caught in the circle of "more management, more lazy children."
How to properly "manage children"? Listen to the education expert, Qian Zhiliang, an associate professor at Beijing Normal University.
1, the child, can not be excessive
This is often the case in real life:
In the morning, I was late for school. The parents were anxious like the ants on the hot pot. The children still got up slowly and got up and washed. When they did their homework at 10 o'clock in the evening, the parents rushed to remind the children to finish sleeping and worry about lack of sleep. The child is still doing his own thing and can drag it for a while.
The bad habits of children's laziness and procrastination often come from excessive parental management.
Some parents, excessive intervention in children, is clearly the child's own business, but the parents are more anxious than the child, has been urging and controlling the child's rhythm.
Too much interference with the child will make him gradually become dependent. He thinks that if he does not do well or does not finish it, his father and mother will help him to complete it. Over time, he will form a lazy character.
Other parents, overprotecting their children, when they want to try to do something themselves, always stop the child with "you are still small, this kind of thing can't be done", and even think that he is not doing well or acting. Too slow, simply replace the child to finish things.
Excessive protection has spurred the child's enthusiasm for doing things. The child lacks the opportunity to experience success, and slowly feels that he is useless, bad, and loses self-confidence.
The dependence on parents, the fear of encountering difficulties, the lack of self-motivation, gradually evolved into a lazy character.
On the road to growth, the gradual independence of children is an irreplaceable process, and parents cannot be replaced.
2, the child, to talk about methods
Many parents may refute, "Whether the child can't do it, there are many things you don't do without saying that he can't do it. You can't just let him do whatever he wants."
There is a term in psychology called "overrun effect", which means that doing something exceeds a certain limit, but the result will be counterproductive.
In the matter of managing children, parents are not as good at intervening, arrogant, and urging. It is better to make rules and set rules for children.
Many parents “manage” children into two extremes: not authoritarian control, or love indulgence.
In fact, the correct "management of children" should be within the scope of the rules, giving children full freedom to let them play their growth potential.
Rules, do not deny the child's ideas, protect the child's opinion, but also do not allow the child to be disorderly; it allows the child to enjoy freedom, but also to restrain some of the child's behavior.
When a child is born, it is a blank piece of paper. When parents give him rules from a young age, he will understand which actions are correct, appropriate, and which are not.
Children can understand the rules in order to learn to reflect, whether their behavior is appropriate, and gradually learn to be responsible for themselves, and the initiative will be improved.
3, control the children, focus on the independence of the church
Many parents have made a wrong demonstration, dedicated all their time to the children, and everything is around the child.
Calling him to get up, help him organize his schoolbags, accompany him after school, and tutor his homework. After busy with the children, the result will encourage the child's inertia.
Sometimes, parents are lazy, and children are more diligent and more active.
What the child can do, parents should not take big risks and give him the opportunity to manage themselves.
The child's room is chaotic, reminding the child to clean up; the child's small clothes encourage him to wash himself; some things, let the children carry themselves, such as being late for bed in the morning, they must bear the risk of being criticized by the teacher.
Love has never been a big bag, let the children do something they can, he can learn to be independent in growing up, and he will not depend on others.
The child is lazy, another positive and effective way is to give responsibility.
Once a person is given responsibility, he immediately begins to notice the influence of his actions on others and begins to produce self-discipline. The same is true for children.
In life, parents can occasionally show weakness, ask for help from the child, or create opportunities to give the child a certain responsibility.
For example, asking a child to help take care of a potted plant and let the child help to clean up the tableware will give the child more confidence in himself and more certain self-worth, and will naturally work harder.
Therefore, parents should believe in the child's ability, respect the child, give him a certain time and space to try and explore, and the child's initiative and enthusiasm will be ignited unconsciously.
Managing children requires the wisdom of parents. Not authoritarian, not arrogant, appropriate lazy, giving children responsibility, it is easier to teach independent, active and diligent children.

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